Atheism

Nothing more than the fart of god!

The Daily Awesome just joined the Atheist Blogroll. Check it out!

This is great:

Dear God and/or the Unnameable and/or Allah and/or Flying Spaghetti Monster and/or Vaguely Defined Divine Force and/or Completely Secular Processes And Events That Contrive A Better Future, Dear All Of You, be you natural, subnatural, or supernatural:

I fervently pray/hope/promise to work to ensure that the sleazy scumbags, felons, and anti-American theocrats involved in this National Day of Prayer are nowhere near the seats of power in the United States one year hence. And I also pray/hope/promise to work for the elimination of the National Day of Prayer, an egregiously awful violation of the Constitution that has been, as anyone familiar with American politics could have predicted, increasingly coopted by a fanatical group of nuts to establish their own religion.

Ramen!

1. Pull aside an unruly child in a preschool Sunday School class and say: "If you're bad in here, you'll go to Hell."
2. A week beforehand, find a member of ACT-UP. Tell him the scheduled sermon is entitled "Why God Sent AIDS to Punish Homosexuals".
3. Put stray dogs in coat closets.
4. Un-tune the piano.
5. Replace the pianist's sheet music with "Stairway to Heaven".
6. Going through all the hymnals, mark song 666.
7. Find an empty seat, and ask the person next to it: "Is this seat SAVED?"
8. Toss around a giant beach ball before service, like at Grateful Dead concerts.
9. Ten minutes before it starts, find a kid in the front rows, hand him a dollar, and tell him to ask the preacher: "Would you rather be stoned or crucified?"
10. Hide copies of Hustler inside the pulpit. Point them out.
11. Start a wave.
12. Do cool things with the lighting.
13. When attendance is taken, sign on fake names like "Hugh G. Rection" and "Oliver Klozoff".
14. Wear an ankh or a new-age crystal pendant.
15. When the choir sings, roll your eyes and grumble: "Oh, Christ! Are they gonna do another SONG?"
16. Make up your own words to the songs.