Infidel
Today is national prayer day! Join us in prayer to the FSM
Dear God and/or the Unnameable and/or Allah and/or Flying Spaghetti Monster and/or Vaguely Defined Divine Force and/or Completely Secular Processes And Events That Contrive A Better Future, Dear All Of You, be you natural, subnatural, or supernatural:
I fervently pray/hope/promise to work to ensure that the sleazy scumbags, felons, and anti-American theocrats involved in this National Day of Prayer are nowhere near the seats of power in the United States one year hence. And I also pray/hope/promise to work for the elimination of the National Day of Prayer, an egregiously awful violation of the Constitution that has been, as anyone familiar with American politics could have predicted, increasingly coopted by a fanatical group of nuts to establish their own religion.
Ramen!
50 Fun Things For Non-Christians To Do In Church
- Pull aside an unruly child in a preschool Sunday School class and say: "If you're bad in here, you'll go to Hell."
- A week beforehand, find a member of ACT-UP. Tell him the scheduled sermon is entitled "Why God Sent AIDS to Punish Homosexuals".
- Put stray dogs in coat closets.
- Un-tune the piano.
- Replace the pianist's sheet music with "Stairway to Heaven".
- Going through all the hymnals, mark song 666.
- Find an empty seat, and ask the person next to it: "Is this seat SAVED?"
- Toss around a giant beach ball before service, like at Grateful Dead concerts.
- Ten minutes before it starts, find a kid in the front rows, hand him a dollar, and tell him to ask the preacher: "Would you rather be stoned or crucified?"
- Hide copies of Hustler inside the pulpit. Point them out.
- Start a wave.
- Do cool things with the lighting.
- When attendance is taken, sign on fake names like "Hugh G. Rection" and "Oliver Klozoff".
- Wear an ankh or a new-age crystal pendant.
- When the choir sings, roll your eyes and grumble: "Oh, Christ! Are they gonna do another SONG?"
- Make up your own words to the songs.
Scientific Fact: Hindu Prayers will ruin America. Or so Republicans say.
Just when you thought Republican bigotry was at it's best, or worst, they will set out to prove you wrong.
Straight from Crooks and Liars...
“We have not only a Hindu prayer being offered in the Senate, we have a Muslim member of the House of Representatives now, Keith Ellison from Minnesota. Those are changes — and they are not what was envisioned by the Founding Fathers,” asserts Sali.
Sali says America was built on Christian principles that were derived from scripture. He also says the only way the United States has been allowed to exist in a world that is so hostile to Christian principles is through “the protective hand of God.”
“You know, the Lord can cause the rain to fall on the just and the unjust alike,” says the Idaho Republican.
According to Congressman Sali, the only way the U.S. can continue to survive is under that protective hand of God. He states when a Hindu prayer is offered, “that’s a different god” and that it “creates problems for the longevity of this country.”
See? And I knew it all along, dogmatic hatred really will save this country. You just watch and see, because the founding fathers would tell you if they were still here.
Bigoted assholes raised this country from nothing. They would tell you that they certainly didn't believe in religious freedom, and anyone who tells you otherwise is a Commie terrorist!
Gah, what would we do without Mr. Sali to tell us who to hate, and why?!
And don't you like the semi-threat there at the end? Kind of reminds me of the nice things these nice people would tell you, too.
Man, Isn't the world of conservatism just awesome! Anyone you wanna hate, and they'll give you a reason, and back it up with the bible! Almost breath-taking, huh?
Fundies protest religious Senate invocation - because it was Hindu
I find it hilarious that the right-wing Christians abhor the neutrality of secularism, yet scream bloody murder at the consequences. "OMG Christians are being teh persecuted!!!11
Government-sanctioned prayer is unconstitutional and should end. I actually think the Christians here are right to protest. It is wrong for a government to sanction religion, be it Hinduism, Christianity, or whatever.
Bible: Christmas trees are for heathens!
If you're a Christian, don't put up a Christmas tree this year. The Bible says Christmas trees are for heathens:
For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe.
They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.