BREAKING: Prisoner actually charged with a crime

Breaking news! One of the prisoners at Guantanamo Bay has actually been charged with a crime!

This is news indeed. Once again I salute our completely uncorrupted and very watchful, vigilant media for spotting this kernel of justice. It is not every day that someone imprisoned is actually presented with the charges made against him or her. (How crazy would it be if that were the norm!) Soon, this lucky prisoner might even get his day with a kangaroo court!

Seriously, if these prisoners have committed such heinous crimes as to deserve endless tortured captivity at Guantanamo Bay, what could possibly be so hard about convicting them in a real court of law? After all, we trust our legal system with putting away rapists, murderers, and child molesters.

Then again, sometimes these terrorists are so bad and so dangerous, that when forced with the prospect of giving them a fair trial, it is preferable to just drop all charges and release them from custody.