Top 20 Reasons Not To Vote For Obama

  1. Obama has a lot of supporters, who follow him around and spread his message. That vaguely sounds like Jesus and Christianity. Therefore, Obama thinks he is Jesus Obama thinks he is The One.
  2. Obama is in the media a lot. Britney Spears and Paris Hilton are also well known and on TV a lot, and they come across as dimwitted, shallow, and pompous. Therefore, Obama is probably also dimwitted, shallow, and pompous. Or, he is just trying to steal all of the white women for himself.
  3. Obama's inspirational speeches draw hundreds of thousands of people.... Just like HITLER!
  4. Obama is too popular and famous to be President. In a democracy, popularity among voters is a major obstacle for being elected.
  5. Obama is a scary black guy who holds a grudge against all white people for their ancestors' enslavement of blacks. If he gets elected, he is going to get revenge by enslaving the white race and giving all of their money to black people.
  6. Barack HUSSEIN Osama (...whoops, I meant Osama....whoops I meant Obama) is a seekrit Muslim terrorist who hates America, just like his Christian Reverend Former Reverend Jeremiah Wright.
  7. Obama doesn't have enough experience ruining the economy or getting the military stuck in foreign quagmires to be President Commander-In-Chief.
  8. Obama isn't black enough. Sure, his skin color is black - but he doesn't associate with enough of the culture elements stereotypically associated with black people, and associates with too many of the cultural elements stereotypically associated with white people. White people think voting for Obama makes up for institutional racism.
  9. Obama is too elitist because he eats swiss cheese eats protein bars after he works out at the gym.
  10. Obama is too confident and presumptuous, always talking about why he is so much better qualified than all of the other people running for president. People who are confident in their ability to succeed in the presidency are too full of themselves to be president.
  11. Obama ran against Hillary Clinton, who is a female. He proved he is sexist by getting more votes and more delegates in the primaries.
  12. Obama is too inexperienced in foreign affairs. He hasn't spent enough time traveling and meeting with world leaders.
  13. Obama spends too much time traveling around the world and meeting with world leaders. Why does he care so much about the rest of the world, instead of America?
  14. Obama visits troops during political trips, taking advantage of them by turning them into political props. didn't visit some the troops during his political trip, because he wanted to bring cameras for publicity but couldn't hates the troops.
  15. Obama says he wants to end the war, but he voted to fund the war in 2005.
  16. Obama voted against more funding for the war after timetables for withdrawing from Iraq were removed from the bill. This is exactly the same thing as voting against funding for the troops to have food and shelter and equipment needed for self-protection. Why does he hate the troops?
  17. Obama is only 47 years old, which is too young to be president. John F. Kennedy (elected at age 43), Bill Clinton (elected at age 46), and Theodore Roosevelt (elected at age 42) were all elected when they were less than 47 years old. This explains why they were all such terrible presidents.
  18. Obama isn't fat enough to be president - after all, 2/3 of Americans are overweight!
  19. The Surge Is Working because The Surge Is Working because The Surge Is Working because The Surge Is Working because The Surge Is Working because The Surge Is Working. Everyone knows The Surge Is Working (because it is working). Democrats all know, deep down, that the Surge Is Working because they know that the Surge Is Working. Even though EVERYONE KNOWS the surge is WORKING, Obama says he thinks the Surge was a BAD IDEA. There is only one logical explanation for this: he would rather lose a war in order to win a political campaign.
  20. /facepalm